Jerky Comments On Websites

This rant comes up because of a situation a new friend is in. She was attacked and her attack made the news. She's been interviewed on the news and had to deal with the police (CPD seems quite incompetent through all of this) as they f-ed up her case etc.

In this new day and age, most news stories are reported online. This evening, we looked up her news reports for WGN, ABC, FOX, even Yahoo! news. Each one had an almost identical story. They had the basics of the attack, a description of the attacker, information about the alert police put out. Each one also had a comment section.

And oh. my. God. Those comments!

People, what the hell?! What would possess people to put up such ridiculous comments about a situation they know nothing of?

The types of comments that irritated me the most were:

racist ass folks who were using the fact that the assailants description was a black male as proof that all black people are some sort of primate (who knew gibbon was a new racial slur?!?) and dangerous to the well-being of normal white folk

militant ass folks who didn't know the race of the woman being attacked and assumed she was lying about the assailant being black in the same way white women used to lie about being raped by black men back during Jim Crow times

ignorant asses who went off on a political rant that somehow involved vitriol toward the Tea Party and Barack Obama with no regard to the actual post they were commenting on


I mean seriously?!? What the hell is wrong with you people? The story was very basic and you had to assume a whole hell of a lot more than the facts presented to come up with your comments.

Before you feel so snug and secure in your online anonymity, please think first about how much of a dumbass you appear to people who know the whole story. Jeez!

The First Hot Day In Chicago Is Always A Trip

Sunday, May 29th was a hot day in Chicago. The temperature reached 90 degrees. It was very humid, so it felt even warmer. And people lost their damn minds.

There were a lot of news reports of people getting hauled off the city beaches in ambulances and paddy wagons. Chicagoans lose their mind. It's been unseasonably cold for a long time and so I guess people had a lot of extra hair they had to let down.

But come on, let's have some sense. It's like when the first snow falls in the city and people forget they have to start driving slow.

Here are my tips:

How To Live In Chicago When It's Warm For Dummies

1. Bring/buy water. It will be hot and you will sweat. You need to replace the fluids you will lose and beer/vodka won't cut it.

2. Dress appropriately. Of course you're hot in your jeans sneakers and matching jacket. This is Chicago! We are not bred to wear jeans in 90 degree weather like it's Florida. In Chicago, we come up out our clothes when it gets hot. Put those chicken legs and untanned arms in a wife beater and shorts!

3. Maintain your calm. People are more likely to argue when it's warm. But arguing makes you hot which only exacerbates the problem. So stop and breath before you respond to person who was rude to you.

4. You can't win against the cops. They will arrest you for public drunken-ness. They can't be convinced to let you past the roadblock. And they don't know where you can get more booze/weed/open fire hydrants.

5. If you stay in your own neighborhood, keep the firecrackers to a minimum. Illinois has laws against everything that is lots of fun and a little bit dangerous. You can get hurt or in trouble with the law by drawing attention to yourself with firecrackers. Plus, it's not 4th of July yet. You can wait.

These 5 tips should help even the least smart of us get through the next really warm day in Chicago.

Why I Shouldn't Rent A Car and Drive To Cleveland And Raise A Ruckus

The Bulls lost with the same crap that's been plaguing them all the Playoffs. They went from up by ever so many points to losing. I was at work, but I had the game cast in a corner of the screen. I watched as the score difference changed. I saw the mark where Derrick Rose missed some important shots. I saw Lebron and Dwayne making great shots when it was needed.

I know Derrick Rose is the MVP, but I hate that the Bulls can't win a game if he doesn't have a great 4th quarter. It just doesn't seem fair. I know Miami had more to prove.

But all I want to do is get in my car, drive to Cleveland, and raise a ruckus. Stupid Lebron James. But of course, Cleveland has enough problems.

They watched the game and saw the vigor with which he played. They know he wasn't doing that for them. Their chance at a ring was handed to Miami on a very expensive platter.

Plus, Miami didn't really outplay the Bulls until the end. The stats were all the Bulls favor until 4 min left in the game. So I must have a measured and accurate response. I'm sad my team is out, but it's their own fault.

At least I can have hope that this time next year, they will have worked out these kinks and will be doing better.

Otherwise, I'm renting a car and driving to Cleveland.

Chicago Bulls, What Can I Say?

I've no one to fuss at. I'm just sad. My Bulls lost Sunday night and therefore they are 2-1. If they don't win on Tuesday, they'll be 3-1. I can't imagine they'll come back from that. Stupid Lebron James. I used to love him before these playoffs started. That's all I have to say

Bulls vs. Miami

This is a hometown rant, so if you aren't a Bulls fan, you will not appreciate this.

Wanting to be 2-0
Was that so much to ask? Jeez guys, I just wanted to be 2-0. We're heading to certain loss in Miami on Sunday. All these guys had to do was win two games. And did they do it? No! They were tied and up and tied and down, and they couldn't keep it together at the end. You know who I blame? That brings me to the next section...

Boozer, You Suck!
It wasn't his fault exactly that they didn't win. But I'm still upset over the mess he's put me through the rest of the playoffs, so this is also his fault. He drives me so crazy that when I see Gibson's bald head doing something amazing in a crowd of defenders, my first reaction is wry appreciation cause his head looks like Boozer's head. Then I remind myself he's not Boozer, he's someone else altogether more wonderful and I can return to happy feelings.

Referees, What The Hell Did Thibodeau Ever Do To You?
Did he insult someone's mama? Was he a jerk in high school and an unbelievable amount of refs graduated with him? I don't know what it is, but a lot of calls seem to be unfair, and they happen when he is out in the trenches right on the side lines, getting the refs' attention. They can screw with him all they want, but they can't take away the fact that he coached up a team to #1 seed.

All that being said, I really am looking forward to this game. Foolish hometown pride won't let me fully concede that we'll probably lose. Yes, I'm one of those people that says "we" with no real affiliation with the team. Get over it.