Every Damn Time I Check My E-mail...

...There's something in the news on Yahoo! that jumps out at me. I open a few new tabs to read the info and then read the "news" "stories" after I've checked my e-mail. I can't wait until I get a newer Blackberry and can see all the pictures on an html e-mail. Then I can avoid getting sucked in. Stupid interesting entertainment news.

So here are the three stories that caught my eye. At least one isn't actually entertainment news.

1. Tiger Woods finally makes a big announcement
I wrote a post ten days ago because I was interested in the big announcement Tiger Woods was going to make. It was reported later that there was no big announcement and for people to stop listening to rumors.

You know what I think? I think there was an announcement. And I think the announcement was that he and his caddy are splitting. I just think they weren't ready for it to come out yet. And instead of being a douche and making an announcement about an announcement (I'm looking at you Donald Trump), he chose to simply wait until he was ready to spread the news.

I don't feel bad for his caddy, he's moving on to another successful golfer and he's a millionaire several times over thanks to Tiger. His life will probably be far less stressful starting tomorrow.


1. A Sinkhole? Can a natural disaster be called life imitating art?
Remind me never to go to Guatemala City. Jeez, it's normal for a giant perfectly cylindrical hole to open up in the ground? In your house? Under your bed? Um, no thanks. That sounds like a horror movie I'd never go see.

I am glad that her kids were okay though.


Kim Kardashian does something else I won't remember tomorrow.
The only reason I even paid-attention to this story is because it involved a look-alike. This has to be the third story this month Yahoo! put on their webpage about a damn Kim Kardashian look-alike. But hey, this one finally caught my eye.

It made me laugh because she's trying to sue Old Navy to get them to stop using a model she says looks to much like her.

So now I have questions: You're too good for Old Navy Kim? Why do you think they're using a model that looks like you? Why are you encouraging our already overly litigious society? Did you ever think that people know it's not you and don't care anyway?

As much crap as you promote, you'd think you'd want to be in an Old Navy commercial, at least their products aren't completely unhealthy. I'm just saying.

I really hope to have more rants about something that actually matters the next time I post.

Light Fare: Dakota Fanning's Possible New Haircut

I'm irritated with myself that I even care about this. But what can I say, I have a soft spot in my heart for child actors all grown up. Especially when they are finding their way into having careers as adults.

Okay, so maybe the movie Dakota is shooting right now is set in London and she's playing a 17 year old, but that counts, right?

Moving on. Here's the photo.


Read the Yahoo article about it

I swear, I come across more things on Yahoo.com that I read that I would never have known without that homepage. This is not a good thing. They suck me in with their oh-so-NOT-important entertainment news.

Since I have to look at this, so do you. What do you think of the hair? It's not the most flattering picture. So I don't know if I like it. She looks like she has a pixie face with longer hair, but then her face suddenly looks overly round with pixie hair.

An unintended side effect of this story is now I care about seeing this movie. Sigh.

I do love Dakota Fanning's acting though. I guess I should just accept it. I wonder how that wise-beyond-her-years thing will play with her portraying a 17 year old. I guess world-weary will work for a cancer patient.

Light Fare: Hugh Hefner's Love Life

I'm sure Hugh doesn't think his love life is light fare, but whatever, I call it like I see it. And the nuptials of a celebrity are light fare because I only care about this much.

That being sad I feel bad for Hef that he thought marrying a 25 year old was a good idea. Is she even really 25? She looks at least 30. So unless she's been smoking cigarettes for the last 10 years, I call bullshit. She's not 25.

Moving on. They were scheduled to get married June 18, 2011. The wedding got called off just days before in an amicable split. WTF, what's amicable about a gold-digging woman tricking some old man into falling for her and leaving him the day her single drops?

I will be genuinely shocked if her single, Club Queen, amounts to more than a one-hit wonder. That is assuming it will even be a hit.

She rode him (literally) to celebrity status and as soon as she had a guaranteed release for her song, she bailed. Now she's focusing on her music career? Good for her I guess. She actually has ambitions other than to be a reality TV star.

But I just feel some kind of way about a woman using this method to achieve her dreams. It leaves a bad taste in my mouth.

I also have to wonder if the next woman Hef decides to marry will also be in her 20s. Yuck.

Did you know his oldest kid is 58 and the youngest is 9? Double yuck.

Read about their breakup here.

Really Arnold Schwarzenegger? Really?!

I know this news is days old, but really?

Part of me is surprised that this came to light at all since he's done with the governor's mansion. Part of me is sad because this will be just another crazy Kennedy story in the grand scheme of history. Part of me thinks it's interesting how people forget that politicians are people too. And part of me wants to immediately move on from Schwarzenegger and talk about something that's really pissing me off right now.

John Edwards. How did I make that leap you ask?

It's because he also had a love child. He let this love child derail his presidential possibilities. Don't get me wrong, I would have voted for Obama over him hands down, but he let his indiscretion derail his marriage and future.

Schwarzenegger his this child for a damn decade. The child's mother was still on payroll working for their family until recently, like two years. And Edwards couldn't keep a 2 year old from coming to light? Come on!

I think it's their personal business. How French of me, right? But that being said, I'm super upset at Edwards for not pulling Schwarzenegger until his political career was over. I know I know. How cynical.

Light Fare: Fine Ass Hollywood Men

There is a certain type of guy I will always be attracted to: great eyes, facial hair, smile that makes me melt, great hair. Except for the hair, Easy, my boyfriend, fits the bill. He used to have great hair (I had a crush on him when we were teenagers), but now he has a sexy shaved head.

Moving on. I noticed that there are a few guys in Hollywood that I find soooo attractive. They don't all look alike, but they look good in the same way. At least they do in these pictures I found. So without further ado, my facial hair eye candy.

#1 Name: Javier Bardem

Who Is He: He's a Spanish Actor who makes amazing films in Spanish and English. He is with Penelope Cruz and they just had a baby like a month ago, yet they still were up and about during this year's Oscars.

Most Recent Acclaimed Work: The film Biutiful which received an Academy Award nomination.

Why You Might Have Heard of Him: No Country For Old Men, Eat Pray Love

Does He Look Like This All Time? Oh yes. He looks only slightly different when he has his hair hanging over his forehead. But lack of facial changes nothing.

#2 Name: Gerard Butler

Who Is He: Scottish actor/singer. Amazing singing voice. I'd love to see anything with him and the redhead sexyman from Grey's Anatomy acting and singing together. He used be a lawyer, been acting since the mid-90s.

Most Recent Acclaimed Work: It sure as hell ain't The Bounty Hunter. I guess lending his voice to How To Train Your Dragon. And they still love him for 300, even though it's not really recent.

Why You Might Have Heard of Him:  The Ugly Truth, PS I Love You, Law Abiding Citizen, 300

Does He Look Like This All Time? Not really. Sometimes he looks like that guy who plays Ben Affleck's brother in The Town. And him from The Ugly Truth looks nothing like him from 300. Hair length, facial hair, the man has many hot looks to offer.

#3 Name: Russell Crowe

 

Who Is He: Australian actor/musician. Aside from some interesting stories, like about al Qaeda wanting to kidnap him, you should know this dude. Seriously.

 

Most Recent Acclaimed Work: I dunno. Maybe, Robin Hood?
 
Why You Might Have Heard of Him: Cinderella Man, 3:10 to Yuma, A Beautiful Mind 
 
Does He Look Like This All Time? Nope. Just check out his wikipedia page. But he's aging very well. I bet he'll still be hot when he's 65.
 
 

 

 

 

#4 Name: Clive Owen

 

Who Is He: English actor. I think he's the first one so far that I can't remember not using his normal accent in every movie.

 

Most Recent Acclaimed Work: Duplicity and The International

 

Why You Might Have Heard of Him: Children of Men, King Arthur, Inside Man, Derailed, Sin City, Closer, The Rich Man's Wife. Soo many movies.

 

Does He Look Like This All Time? Of course not. I love his facial hair, but he loses his inability to smile in pictures when he has facial hair. But he's good looking from any angle.

 

   

#5 Name: Robert Downey, Jr.

Who Is He: American actor. He's been acting since the 70s. He's good at what he does. He has a tumultuous private life, but who cares, this is about his looks.
 
Most Recent Acclaimed Work: Iron Man 2 and Sherlock Holmes. I refuse to accept that Tropic Thunder might have been critically acclaimed.

 

Why You Might Have Heard of Him: The Pick-Up Artist, Kiss Kiss Bang Bang, Iron Man, Due Date

 

Does He Look Like This All Time? He's been acting for a long time. He certainly wasn't this fine back in those 80s movies... But nah, he looks different depending on hair, glasses, clothes. Only those eyes stay dreamy no matter what.

So what have we learned? I like men with accents. And facial hair, and great eyes. If you didn't make the list, grow your beard. But only if you have the face for it. I know mustaches are out. I don't give a fuck. Yes, I really just said that.

EDIT: I can't believe I orignially forgot Jeffrey Dean Morgan! He played Denny on Grey's Anatomy, and he was sexy sexy Clay in the Losers. That fight he had with Zoey Saldana was by far the sexiest fight I've ever seen in a movie, you ain't got nothing on this Angelina & Brad!