Saturday, August 20, 2011

How To Get Your Name In The Headlines: Obscure Repub Edition

There are the big names one thinks of when they think of Republicans today. Those people matter either because of the current position they hold or because of their chances at a future current position. These are people like Rick Perry, Michele Bachmann, Paul Ryan, Mitch McConnell, and yes, Karl Rove.

When you hear these names, it's because you've just heard them and will hear them again tomorrow. Those who don't make this cut are sidelines for a number of reasons. Either they're not important enough, or their important belongs more to yesterday.

CNN's Politics page seems to be splattered with insignificant people who've made big statements in an effort to beef up their public exposure. Well, here you go people, I'm exposing you.

Herman I-Wanna-Be-The-New-Token Cain Thinks Obama Should Be Impeached.
Cain says Obama impeachment would be 'a great thing'
Pulling out the big guns a bit early, are we Herman? Who do you think you are? Rick Perry? You're no Rick Perry. Silly rabbit. Who do you think is going to reward you for such insolence?

Christine O'Donnell walked out on Piers Morgan and she is rightly being lambasted for it. I agree with this opinion piece wholeheartedly. What did she think she was going to be asked? Seriously, chick you're no Michelle Bachmann.

On to people who it does make sense to mention these days, and the old folks trapped in their headline by association...

Bill Clinton had the hots for Rick Perry
Bill Clinton on Perry: He's a 'good-looking rascal'
Maybe it's me, but I don't see it. I don't think Rick Perry is very good looking at all. All I can see is that large expanse of skin from his nose to his upper lip. It's like unkempt landscape over there. I love laugh lines, but his just look angry. His eyebrows don't suit his face, his ears are too big, and that old man loose skin flap threatening to hide the top of his collar is soooo icky. I'm just saying...

Bachmann screw up... oh hell everything. This time it's Elvis' birthday. I think all the people who think education sucks must be her biggest fan. It's totally fine to get everything wrong all the time because at least you're not an egghead. Is that the reasoning? Someone please explain to my why anyone cares what comes out of her mouth?

If my job was fact-checking this chick, I'd be rich! Rich!

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